What a mighty fine man

Does it ever bother you that there are so many ads before you actually get to the table of contents? Does it make you think, "Hey, why am I paying for this magazine when I have to see so many ads. They should be paying me." Except maybe secretly you like all those ads? Maybe more than you even like the articles. Which are really just bigger, longer ads, and usually less creative. The fall issues of fashion magazines are the worse. Or the best, depending on how you look at it. Fact: There are 86 pages of ads before you get to the table of contents in the September 2006 issue of GQ. Fact: I didn't mind so much. Fact. That bothered me a little. Maybe a lot. Maybe it bothered me a lot that it only bothered me a little.

Inspired by those 86 pages ... and a little meat.

What’s inside?
Paris, London, or Beverly Hills. You can reach me at 1-888-977-1900. Ask for Tommy or Calvin or visit me at the South Coast Plaza! (I’m the one pretending to go down on the anorexic brunette with the fur cap.) Now hear this! Tom Brady is the ultimate in form meets function. I’d like to hear your thoughts. I like your attitude! Long live individuality! Sound off on what’s inside.

What we will do this fall
We will dress in shirts and ties. We will drink Bombay Sapphire and combine our influence. We will meet perfection and have a great time working on it. We will escape for five days and five nights. We will convey sophistication and strength in everything we do. We will lead a team of amateurs in a quest to create. We will know a moment of truth when we make a clean getaway.

Table of contents
We know what’s in store for you. We know everything you need to know. We will give you an upgrade. We will break down the rules. We are obsessed and we can’t stop watching. We don’t know when to call it quits. Welcome to America, immigrants!

Are you ready?
Are you ready to hit the cobbled streets in premium flannel suits? Are you ready for the best four days you’ll ever spend on two wheels? Are you ready for a 21st century gentleman? Are you ready to share perfect itineraries? Are you ready? We are ready. We are. Are you?

Did you know?
Did you know everyone keeps calling me? Do you know why everyone keeps calling me a savior? Did you know the man behind the mane? Do you know something Russians have known for years? A little can go a long way and it is best served chilled. Do you feel that way? Are you cold? You have cold? You like the cold? (Are we getting warmer?)

Visible
You are visible through the back. Through the front. Through attack. Drinking a different drum. Pushing outside the box. Being ahead of left field. You are visible in orange highlight. In stainless steel. In one big center second. You are drinking, thinking, pushing. You are a visible being.

Letter from the editor
I am the man of fall. I am one of your favorite nudist destinations here to inform you about world peace. I am here to tell you about empty feelings, about guess what, about her amazing menopause. But first you must swallow everything you hold dear in a thick and juicy suit. See? Fall is rich.

Letters to the editor
You have balanced original length and given me a piece of hunger. I want to thank you for a rare animal and taking on the possibility of pop culture. I congratulate small hilarity (and Tibet and India and Nepal.) And the quest itself. The article about moist struggles was taken out of context. I’ve long been an admirer of the rich. I thank you.

The ultimate code
I know the ultimate code for seduction. Do you know the ultimate code for seduction because if you don’t I will tell you. I will tell you now. Do you want to know? Do you want to know the ultimate code for seduction because I know? Open here to discover.

Ugly
Are you very, very ugly? Are you a dirty security agent and former secretary of state? Are you a felony waiting to happen, waiting to move on with his life, waiting to feel guilty? (You didn't ruin those kids’ futures, she did!) Would things have been different if you had a breakfast meeting with style and taste? Things would not be different.